


Fine

by Nightwingingiit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance, F/M, Gay crisis, I enjoy torturing my favorites, Langst, M/M, Major Character Death-ish?, Self depreciation, Space Dad Shiro, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), angsty, if they hurt it means I care, klance, lotsa langst, may incorporate season 4 but who knows, self-sacrificing idiots, slowish burn, started planning this before season 4, this takes place kinda over the course of season 3, who am I kidding I'm gonna try and probably fail to make it slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-01-30 10:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12651777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwingingiit/pseuds/Nightwingingiit
Summary: Keith and Lance have to learn to work together as the new leaders of Voltron. The whole team must come together to continue the fight against the Galra.They’ll learn about each other and learn to coexist and maybe even be friends. And when they get in over their heads they’ll have to depend on each other to survive.orKeith and Lance don't know how to depend on other people and can't admit when they are hurt.(Starts right before season 3 and continues with a lot of variation past the lion switch-up)





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

  
Lance sat in the bridge of the Castle of Lions, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket. Team Voltron sat at their stations staring at their consoles, checking readings, searching through transmissions, checking star charts, anything to look busy.

Allura tirelessly piloted the castle, while Coran navigated. Aside from Lance, only one other had given up all pretences of reading star charts.

Keith sat on the very edge of his seat, as if the minute the Castle came to a halt he would leap out into the vastness of space.  
Lance was convinced that if he could, Keith would be tearing apart the stars right now.

The raven haired boy had stood in constant vigilance since their battle with Zarkon.

It had been a week, maybe two, since the fight, and Shiro was still missing.  
The sight of the empty black lion was still etched into Lance's eyelids. He knew everyone was hurting and worried, but above all Keith as who worried Lance the most.

Lance knew that Keith’s connection with Shiro had been stronger than anyone’s, maybe even Allura. Lance knew they weren’t blood related but he knew Shiro and Keith were like brothers. Lance knew if any one of his little siblings had gone missing he’d be devastated, but Keith scared him.

  
The red paladin's expression grew darker everyday and anyone who approached him was in danger of being shouted at. There were times Lance thought he’d seen Keith’s hand twitch towards his bayard when speaking with others.

So it was silent. 

Lance didn't like silence, but lately whenever they were all alone together no one felt like speaking, sometimes the silence would be broken by a communication from a planet in distress, or one of their guests, be it the scientist, Slav, or the Marmorites.

Actually, no, it was almost always Slav.

It was once again up to Lance to break the tension.

"Soooo. Princess remind me again about the plan. How’s all this diplomacy supposed to go?”

Allura blinked for a moment as if the prolonged silence had effected her ability to process words.

"We've been through this."

She sounded annoyed, as she glanced back at the blue paladin though, she realized his intention.

"But...I suppose a recap never hurt anyone"

The other paladins glanced over. Lance tapped his console and brought up his notes from their strategy meeting.  
He noticed a small smile on Pidge’s face.

She knew how stillness affected him. She liked to tease him about his inability to sit still or handle silence for very long.

"When we arrive at the nav point we will split into our different missions Pidge will take the green lion to covertly investigate the information she discovered from the Galra servers. Slav will assist Coran in recalibrating the castle's systems. Hunk and Lance and the Blade of Marmora will be responding to the distress signals we intercepted  
from planets nearby. Keith and I will remain with the castle to provide reinforcements if needed-“

"And to search for Shiro." Keith growled.

Allura’s  gaze fell, "Yes, of course."

Keith's eyes flashed as he shot a glare around at everyone. Pidge and Hunk followed Allura’s lead and averted their eyes. Lance met Keith's eyes, refusing to let the red paladin's anger phase him.

Keith had been acting lately as if Shiro’s disappearance was somehow their fault. As if the paladins knew where Shiro was, and just wouldn't  
tell him.

Lance wanted to match Keith's glare, fire with fire, but when he met the other boy's eyes he saw something else under the anger.

Fear. Sadness. Hart.

When Lance didn't look away Keith's eyes flared and he huffed and turned back around. Lance felt his face soften in concern.

The team fell back into silence, and Lance fell back into his nervous fidgeting. Before long he was practically vibrating with energy. He looked at his readout. In the  
corner an Altaen counter kept time.

If he was reading it right it said they had about 20 minutes until they reached their goal... or 2 hours was that a d for dobash or v for varga? He had thought he was getting better at reading Altean.

He couldn't take it, his feet danced up and down and his hand twitched. He thought he saw Pidge glancing back at him. He finally stood up He didn't want to bother anyone, he knew he was distracting them, but he needed to move.

"I'm.. um gonna go check on Blue" He muttered.

Pidge nodded as if she had expected this. Hunk looked up and met Lance's eyes, his expression said "You good dude?"

Lance flashed him a sheepish grin and Hank nodded in understanding.

Hunk knew Lance and stillness did not mix, that it made him uncomfortable, and, that try as he might, Lance just couldn't handle it for long.

Allura didn't look back from her screens but called after him,  
"Don't go far, Lance. We will arrive at the warp point in just a few ticks"

Lance smiled to himself as he left the bridge. He really was starting to get Altean.  
.

* * *

  
Keith stared out at the stars, grinding his jaw as if he could solve all of his problems if he just could grind his teeth down to nothing.

The Castle was low on power, not to mention Allura still hadn't completely recovered from operating the tella-duv.

They were traveling to a central location in the quadrant before everyone split up for their missions. That way the  
princess wouldn't have to use so much energy transporting everyone from so far away.

He had managed to convince her to take them near the wreckage from their last battle. He had been trying to get the team mobilized for days, but one thing or another had gotten in the way. Once again only he would be taking up the search.

The sight of the empty black lion haunted him.

He had wanted to go out immediately and look, but after the initial shock had passed it became obvious there was nothing they could do right away.  
Their jump to escape had drained any last bit of energy Allura had had, and the castle was not in good shape either.

All of the paladins needed medical attention and the lions needed to be looked over.

After a day in the pods the paladins had been released feeling tired, but well enough.

Pidge had gone to her station immediately and became engrossed in trying to decode what clues she had.  
Hunk tried to be useful by cooking, and helping with repairs. Allura never seemed to leave the bridge.

  
Lance...Lance was not helping at all. Not even trying in Keith’s eyes.

He chattered and challenged Keith, he distracted Pidge, and was constantly bothering Hunk. He made jokes that made Allura groan.

Lance's look from a moment ago burned in Keith's mind. It wasn't that he didn't look away from Keith's anger as Keith had come to be used to; it was the subtle undertone of concern in the Cuban boy’s face.

Lance was worried about Keith, and that made Keith furious.

Deep down Keith knew his actions and attitude as of late was worrying the whole team, but for the most part they left him alone about it, except for Lance.

Lance got up to leave and Keith stared at his own clenched fests. Lance continued to challenge and vex him. Keith's frustration and anger boiled inside of him.

It angered Keith how little everyone seemed to care that Shiro was gone.

No...

That wasn't far.

Anyone could see that the entire team was stretched thin, emotionally and physically. They all handled it in different ways, but Keith was having a hard time seeing past  
his own feelings. 

Shiro was his family, the only real connection he had to Earth. Not to mention, Shiro's disappearance had come right on the heels of the revelation of Keith’s Galra lineage.

And with Shiro gone Keith was afraid of the decisions that he might soon be forced to make.

The others didn't know about that.

Keith had kept Shiro's wishes from them. It was not something Keith-wanted, and Keith planned to do everything in his power to make sure it didn't come to that.

He was so ready to have some time away from everyone. No, he didn't mean that, but he needed some time to figure out his thoughts, and he needed to look for Shiro.

He could feel as the castle stopped moving

"Paladins, return to the bridge for breifing, we have arrived at the jump point.”  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins must tap into their people skills...only, some of them are a little lacking in that department. 
> 
> ————————-  
> I’m so sorry for how long it has been. Let’s just say life happened. And then Season 4 happened and that kinda threw off my original plan to kinda stay with the canon, and I had to decide what to do with this. I’m definitely continuing it, but after a certain point it’s going to vary greatly from the canon, which was not my original plan. I’m going to be better about updating, but I’m not going to make any promises for weekly posts or anything, because I don’t want to disappoint and my life is still a little crazy.

Chapter 2

* * *

  
Pidge was the first to return.  
Keith hadn't been back at the Castle long. His search had proved futile. There was absolutely no trace of Shiro.

Allura had excused herself almost as soon as the other lions had lifted out of the hangers.  
They were going to have a diplomatic meeting with the leaders of the planets that had agreed to join the coalition. And if Lance and Hunk's mission was successful there would be even more leaders to impress.

Allura’s nerves radiated everywhere she went. Keith knew if Shiro were there he would know the magic thing to help the princess.

Yet another reason Keith had to find Shiro.

Keith felt the Green lions return through his lion’s link.  
He ran to find Pidge  
As he thought she would be, she was planted in front of her console.

"Um... hi..."

Pidge jumped, "Oh Keith! I didn't hear you come in."

Keith chose to ignore the tension in her voice

"Um". Anything?"

"Nothing too exciting. no one seems to recognize the aliens in the picture. Coran thinks they are intergalactic fashion pirates..."  
  
"What?"

"Nothing. I think Matt may have been rescued by freedom fighters. Hopefully we can find them... and Matt, and they will help us."

“Shiro?"

"Keith...I-“

"Never mind”

Keith could feel Pidge’s eyes on him as he turned and left her alone with her computer.

He wanted Pidge to find her family, he did. He knew how worried she was.

Had it not been for her desire to find them, Keith may have been alone that fateful night that Shiro had returned to Earth.  
They would probably never have known about Voltron, they probably would never have met and found Blue.

But, Shiro was Keith's family. He was their leader.

And more than anything Keith needed him here.

Keith rounded the corner and a loud voice from down the hall assaulted his ears.

"Hunk was so cool Allura! Just, boom! Right through the quiznaking cliff! Bam!"

"To be honest... it wasn't that big a deal. Lance's flying was what was really impressive!"

"Nah man you saved my butt!"  
"I'm glad to hear things went well on Puig you two, I can’t wait to here more. I believe now everyone has returned let’s go meet in the lounge."

Keith watched as the blue paladin practically vibrated with energy in his excitement. Did the guy have any volume control?

He pat Hunk on the back, and smiled brightly. Keith had to admit the Cuban boy's joy was infectious.

"Uh hey buddy I'm actually going to go change first." Lance waved his friend and the princess away.

Hunk smiled before saying something about the food he was going to make for their guests.

They still hadn't noticed Keith at the end of the hall behind them. Hunk and Allura headed toward the lounge. Keith was about to continue down the hall towards Lance, when he noticed the blue paladin's shoulders slump.

Lance sucked in a sharp breath and pressed his palm to his side.  
Keith's brow furrowed. Did he get hurt?

Keith look a step toward Lance as Lance turned toward him.

  
"Uh h-"

"Aaaah!" Lance reeled back dramatically at Keith's sudden appearance.

Idiot.

Keith saw a flash of discomfort cross the other boy's face.

"Don't do that!"

Lance clutched his heart, ever for the theatrics. Keith's worry vanished and turned to annoyance.

"What... walk here?"

"Nooo. Being all sneaky!"

"What? I’m not being sneaky!"

"Then why are you sneaking?" Lance threw an accusing finger in Keith's direction. Keith sucked in a breath ready to shoot back a retort when saw another flash of discomfort cross the boy's tan features.

Keith let the breath out in a groan. "Ugh whatever Lance. What's your problem anyway? You get hurt or something?" Keith accused, a little harsher then he'd intended.

"Pssh. What are trying to say? I'm fine! I'm fiiiiiiiine!" Lance drew out the word waggling his eyebrows. He recovered quick but for a moment Keith knew he saw alarm in his eyes, as if he'd been caught in a lie.

"Ugh... whatever Lance."

Lance started towards the lounge.

"I thought you were going to change?"

"See! You were sneaking!"

"What?!"

"I do what I want mullet!"

"What the-? I don't even care. Just get Coran to look at you, if you are hurt.”

"Sure Keith. You're just jealous I got to go on a super cool mission and you didn't."

Lance didn't wait to hear Keith's response he just stepped off to the lounge.

* * *

  
Keith didn't care.

He did not care.

He sat across from Lance and listened as he and Hunk recounted their story from Puig.

He was barely listening, he just kept watching Lance as the boy talked.

The blue paladin spoke with the same excitement  as always but there was a slight edge to his cheerful tone. His hands didn't move as fluidly as normal.

But. Keith did not care.

"Which brings up a little issue...".

Hunk's tone pulled Keith back to the conversation.  
"They all want to see Voltron, but the problem is we don't really have Voltron anymore. ''

Keith felt the broiling lava building up inside him again.

"We don't have Shiro anymore either, everyone seems to have forgotten that."

There it was again. Everyone drew into themselves avoiding his glare.

Allura broke the sudden silence.

"I know it is difficult for us all to accept, but it is time to find a new pilot for the Black lion."

Keith felt like he was underwater. His vision clouded. He felt himself yelling at them. He saw the looks on their faces as he stormed out. He saw it all, but the lava boiled in him until he found himself standing in front of the training center.

No one had tried to follow him, which as he sliced through bot after bot he was glad.

The team's faces rolled through his thoughts. Shock, worry, guilt all emotions he had caused. Even Red seemed irritated with him. Her frustration rolled over him, but it only fueled his own.

With Shiro here, none of this would be happening.

They'd be able to form Voltron.

The team would be whole.

And Keith would feel grounded again.

Right now he felt like he would burst.

And he had, several times.

The team walked on eggshells around him. They needed their leader.

He felt for a moment he was being watched. He looked around and saw no one. He saw the time and grimaced. It was late. He knew the leaders of the newly saved  
planets would be at the castle in the morning.

They were supposed to make a good impression Keith hadn't slept well in weeks. He really did want this to go well. He just knew he was going to screw up; somehow his temper would come out.

Shiro had always been table to calm him. Now his rage flowed freely.

He needed sleep... and a shower if he wanted any chance of making it through tomorrow.

He retracted his bayard and trudged out, dreading the morning.

* * *

  
Lance watched as Keith tore through the training course with the fury of a hurricane.

Before, Lance had viewed Keith's constant training with slight annoyance. 

Keith was always one step ahead of him.

Always just a little bit better. His constant training made Lance feel lazy. Not that he didn't put in his own hours, he just didn't obsess over it.

Keith did.

And Keith was better.  
Lance tried, but Keith was always better.

It didn't help that Keith practically monopolized the training room whenever the team wasn't in there together. Lance had been irritated with that, before...

He had blamed his slower progression on Keith. Before.

Then Shiro was gone

Then the black lion had been found empty and something in Keith snapped.

Lance watched with the rest of the team as the red paladin spiraled deeper into his despair.

Lance did what he could to help his team. To keep their spirits up.

He helped Pidge with her projects, even though she often ended up kicking him out. He cooked with Hunk and listened to the big guy's worries. He joked and flirted with Allura, which earned him some exasperated sighs, but he always saw the small smile she tried to hide. He listened to Coran's stories.

But with Keith... he knew there would be no cheering Keith up. He knew Keith didn't like him, but before Shiro they had been getting better.

He had almost thought they might be friends one day.

Then Shiro disappeared and Keith shut himself away.

So Lance annoyed him. Gave him an outlet to direct his frustration. If he was yelling at Lance he wasn't yelling at Allura, or Hunk or Pidge.  
Keith was able to be angry about something else, think about something other than Shiro.

Lance watched as Keith sliced the arm off another bot.

Keith was better. Better than Lance, and Lance had been told as much on several occasions.

Keith wouldn't have let his lion get hit.

Keith wouldn’t have been distracted by making sure the Marmorites got to the ground.  
Keith wouldn't have let himself get thrown into the console because he wasn't paying attention.  
  
He wouldn't have a bruise the size of Texas on his side.

Keith would have been great on Puig.

But that was before.

* * *

  
This part of being a paladin Lance liked.

Talking to people.

Experiencing the cultures of other planets. And building relationships.  
Not to say he didn't like flying Blue and fighting the Galra.

He loved it. He loved being a paladin.  
But this, this is something he'd always been good at. While they waited for everyone to arrive Allura had encouraged them to mingle with their new allies, and Coran had said something about chitchat being 12% of diplomacy or was 10%?

Who knows, it's Coran.

Lance drifted between the separated groups doing his best to break the ice. The different races seemed wary of each other. Galra control had limited their interactions with other planets, and now it was going to take some effort to get them to mesh.

Lance pulled one of the leaders he recognized from Puig and started chatting him up. In moments the man was smiling and relaxing, and Lance pulled some of the other leaders over to join the conversation.

Soon he was not needed and they were speaking easily, and he continued on to do it again.

He noticed Altura speaking to one of the leaders.  
She was doing her absolute best to remain prim and proper, but he could tell she was tired and having trouble finding common ground.

Lance grinned and flitted to her side. He grabbed her hand and pecked her knuckles.   
"Lance?"

"Princess." He bowed, he turned to her companion and greeted them in the same way. He thought Allura was going to faint.

He was grateful he had learned a bit about their planets culture from when he’d helped save them. This particular planet typically greeted friends with a kiss to the forehead, although Lance figured with his current company the hand would be better.

''Hi I’m Lance." He smiled at the ambassador.

The ambassador broke into a huge smile

"Princess! Your paladins are so respectful! Well met, Paladin Lance." The ambassador pulled Lance down and kissed his brow Lance smiling brightly.  
Allura relaxed and Lance could swear he saw a look of surprise and pride.

Lance and Allura spoke with the ambassador for a few more moments until Allura was speaking freely and laughing.  
"And then the paladins brought a farm animal back! What did you say it was called Lance?"  
Lance barely heard her, as something else had caught his eye. He blinked as his consciousness returned to the moment at hand.

"Lance?"

"Hmmm? Oh! Yeah Kaltenecker? She's awesome! She's our cow!" Lance said proudly.

"What is a... cow?" The ambassador mused.  
"It's uh... from Earth...it's.." Lance was distracted again. "Um, ladies if you'll excuse me.." Allura seemed to recognize the source of his distraction.  
  
She took up the conversation trying to find something familiar to relate Kaltenecker to.

Lance made his way across the hall.  
Pidge was geeking out over the communication technology one of their guests had brought. The poor ambassador was just smiling and nodding as the green paladin rambled. Hunk was no doubt finishing preparing their meal with Coran.

  
But Lance’s target was neither of them.

He was making a beeline for Keith.  
The red paladin had found himself a spot on the wall away from their guests.

He was obviously avoiding any type of interaction by putting on a stony expression. The few that tried gave up quickly to return to friendlier conversations.

He knew Keith wasn't the most social paladin, but usually he would at least make an effort, now he flat out seemed to be rejecting any interaction. Lance thought about the day before, and Keith's outburst.

He knew Keith thought they didn't think finding Shiro was important, but he didn't want to hurt this meeting by showing their guests just how broken the Voltron team was. Keith just wasn't hiding it as well as the others.

Lance understood Keith had a stronger bond with their leader than the rest, but Keith's mood was like a dark vine constricting and climbing everything it could grasp.  
Keith had every right to his mood. Lance knew; hell... they all had every right to just be angry.

Allura and Coran’s whole civilization was gone.

They all missed home, and their families.

Who knew what had become of Pidge's family?

Hunk hadn't been able to speak to Shay in months, and honestly Lance knew that being a paladin sent Hunk into an ungodly anxiety spiral no man had ever known before.

Lance himself had a massive contusion spreading from his collarbone all the way down his  
left side that burned every time he moved.

They had every single right to be mad at the universe.

But not tonight.

Lance swaggered up to Keith with a grin.

"What?" Keith's tone was biting.  
"Hey buddy sooo l was just wondering..." Keith glowered at him. "... are you intentionally trying to scare away all of our new allies or as this just how you normally make friends?"

Lance continued before Keith could speak the curse that was forming on his lips. "l mean, cause man...ah what usually works for me is you know smiling? I've found you don't even really have to talk, just smile, and listen." Lance said carefully.

Keith looked up at him like the concept had never occurred to him.

"But, I don't know man, maybe it's just your ugly mug that's scaring them."

Keith growled softly and jabbed at Lance's gut.

In retrospect the hit had been playful, but as Keith's hand slapped his bruised torso the flash of firey pain made him double over and his eyes watered. He stifled his whine and blinked away the tears.

"What? I didn't hit you that hard." Keith said.

Lance inhaled deeply not wanting to look at Keith until he had control of his expression again. "Lance?" Keith's voice was tinged with worry this time.

"Geez man, just trying to help and you hit me?' Lana said straightening. "Man I'm gonna go over there away from this abuse!"

"What! I didn't-"

"Abuse!" Lance walked off dramatically. He ran off to find Hunk.

* * *

  
Keith didn't miss when he grabbed his side as he turned the corner to the kitchen.  
Keith decided diplomacy was not his thing.

The others all seemed to have no problem finding things to talk about

Lance especially took to it. Keith almost envied the blue paladin's ability to mold into any situation easily. He spoke to complete strangers like he'd known them forever, and he flowed through the crowd like water.

Keith didn't know how, but somehow Lance had even managed to improve his mood somewhat  
Although Lance's reaction to his punch darkened it again.

The blue paladin was obviously not fine, but for some reason was lying about it.

Were the others really so afraid of him they wouldn't even tell him they were hurt?

Did just Lance feel that way?

The dinner went horribly, and, well it was his fault.  
Lance had seemed to know that the dinner would end badly and that Keith would be the cause.

He stood down the hall from the dining area. He could hear the others trying to quell the unrest he had caused.  
Allura could be heard trying to speak over the fretting ambassadors.

He heard Hunk offering more food. Lance could also be heard speaking, and the more he spoke the less Keith could hear the stress in the others voices.  
After a while, Keith thought he actually heard laughter. Keith leaned against the wall as everything thathe was feeling built up like lava inside him pressing to get out.

His hand trembled and he slid to the ground.

The ambassadors, to them Voltron was a legend. It's paladins were like the heroes from the myths people on Earth told to teach some kind of lesson.

The ambassadors didn't recognize them as actual people.

Keith remembered seeing people at the Garrison talking about different celebrities. Talking about them not like they would a normal person, talking about them as if they were machines whose only purpose was to please these fans.

They didn't see the fissures in the team, growing deeper every day.

All they cared about was Voltron, and they weren't getting it. And, the reason for that didn't phase them.

Keith slammed his fist into the ground.

At this point the trembling had spread over his whole body.

He heard the door of the dining hall slide open. He was out if the immediate line of sight, but he could hear their voices.

"Well that was just fucking fantastic!" Lance's voice was exasperated, not even really angry, but just tired.

"Keith chose great time to get all hothead." Pidge growled.

"Uh. I mean Keith was a little out of line, but really guys, if you think about it he wasn't lying. We can't form Voltron." Hunk murmured

Lance sighed loudly, "I know! We would have had to explain it to them eventually, but did Keith really have to go all postman on  
them?"

"Postman?" Pidge chuckled.

"I think you mean postal, buddy." Hunk said helpfully.

"Whatever, I mean it just would have been easier to convince them everything was cool without everything  
being Keithed up.."

"Did you just use Keith's name as a verb?"

"Did I qunnacking stutter?"

"Guys come on... I do have to hand it to you, Lance,you were awesome." Hunk praised.

"Oh, yeah great job, Lance!" Pidge cheered.

"Heh, well you know I am pretty incredible."

Both of the other two paladins laughed and groaned simultaneously.

They broke out laughing. Pidge said something about working the calibrations on her lion’s cloaking. Hunk’s voice followed Pidge down the hall away from Keith.

Keith listened to the silence.

They were mad he had almost ruined the dinner.

Lance had saved it.

Lance.

Most days Lance McClain drove him up the, wall, but even he could see why the other boy had been chosen to be part of Voltron.

Lance's innate ability to make a friend of every person he met had been invaluable as they tried to form alliances.

Keith was jealous.

He'd never admit it of course, but Keith wished he had that ability.

"Keith?"

Keith's head jerked up. Lance was standing over him. Lance was looking at him like he couldn't decide whether he was going to yell at Keith or not.

Keith started to stand to get away from Lance before he could start ridiculing him, but was shocked when Lance slid down to sit beside him.

"You know... typically when attempting to make friends...yelling at them?... Not the best move." Lance's tone was teasing, but not malicious.

Keith grit his teeth and turned away, his face burning with frustration. Lance sighed, "Oh yeah, sorry gotta keep up the  
whole ‘emo’ thing,. got it."

Keith spun on Lance, "I'm not-"

He stopped when he saw the smirk on Lance’s face.  
"There he is."

Keith turned away again, and Lance put his head against the wall with a thump.

"It's okay you didn't miss much."  
  
The blue paladin said that as if Keith had just gone out for a bathroom break.

"The Puigan ambassador really liked Hunk's pizza rolls, and Pidge seemed to hit it off with the ambassador from Jedha. Did you know that on Esperon they use fire as currency? How would that even work? Maybe like a match or something is like a dollar?"

Lance continued to ramble. Keith relaxed and listened to him go on. Lance loved people and he loved to talk, and Keith did like listening  
"...So yeah don't do that around a Greisian. Hunk's okay though. "Man, it's just all so interesting...”

Keith had hardly realized that he was now watching Lance. "What do you mean?"

"Well you know, meeting all those people, learning about them, their cultures. It's so cool."

"Heh, you just like the attention."

Lance was quiet, and then softly, "Yeah, maybe you’re right."

 They sat quietly for a minute, and Keith felt the weight start to lift. Even Red was starting to calm down, her comforting warmth flowing in his mind.

Lance yawned. "I'm beat, well goodnight, Mullet."

He popped to his feet and stretched. He started down the hall and stopped, his shoulders  drooping.

"Look, Man... I get it.. We all do, but please you aren't alone. Just be patient, okay? We’ll find him. We will...just... you don't have to  
be alone. Shi-he wouldn't want that. Just be patient."

Keith watched as the other boy retreated, and for a moment, he thought he could hear Shiro in Lance's words.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team needs to find a solution to their problem, and Keith is not ready for the decision.
> 
> (I dunno I suck at summaries)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this story. I’m sorry I suck at updating so much. My life is a whole lotta crazy and that is not conducive to writing self-indulgent fan fiction. I’m continuing on the plan I had for this fic and because seasons have been released since I started it will start to diverge, stick with me I know where this is going. Keep the kudos and comments going, honestly it’s the main thing that guilts me into writing. so keep them coming. I accidentally posted this chapter before it was done and then the program kept restarting and deleting my progress so I kind of rage quit for a bit.
> 
> I know some parts sort of start getting a little novelization-y with certain scenes, but I'm trying to avoid that. We all know what happened in the "hey man" scene just saying. I will only play out the whole scene if theres something I need to address within the scene.

 

"Hey, Coran?”

Lance peeked into the med bay, keeping an eye out for the ginger Altaen.

He heard no sounds of tinkering or self-composed theme music. He walked over to the storage unit Coran kept his medical supplies in. The labels were all in Altaen.

He picked up a vial with a purple bubble substance in it that reminded him of bubble tea. He squinted at the symbols. If he was reading it right it said Perkaltan.

That meant nothing to him.

He studied it, hoping it might be painkillers and not a deadly poison that would melt his face.

"Ah, Lance, my boy!"

Lance screamed and the vial flew into the air.  
"Oops!" Coran managed to catch the vile before it shattered on the ground. "Woah there, wouldn't want to lose that! That's the last of the Perkakar."

So close.

"Sorry Coran, so uh, is that like, uh, a really awesome medicine or..."

"Oh no! It's the most painful of poisons! Melt the skin right off your bones!"

Quiznack.  
Coran returned the vial and turned to face Lance. "So lad, since when have you been interested in Altaen alchemy?"

"Oh, you know...always..?" Lance's voice went up an octave.

Coran raised his brow.

"Well then, first we should start with common herbs and tonics and _then_ move to deadly poisons and acids!"

"Actually, Coran," Lance intercepted, "I was looking for some medicine."

Coran grabbed Lance's arm with a flourish, and put his ear to Lance's bicep.

"My boy are you ill? Have you been hallucinating dancing falmers?"

Lance pulled away, "What are.. nevermind...I’m just a little sore from training, and was hoping to find something to help."

"Oh, I see, you've never been one to have muscle pains after workouts, Hunk however..."

"Yeah, well you know... just been really putting in the hours..."

"Really? Since you returned from your mission you have been quite busy, you and the other paladins have hardly had a spare varga."  
Coran was now looking him up and down. "Lance, are you injured?"

"Bsh what? No! What? No..." Lance inched back from Coran.

The Altaen looked him up and down. "Oh! Well in that case you can help me recalibrate the gladiator bots.. They need a live target to get a good level on their strength."

"Uh, you know what Coran? I might have gotten a tiny bump during the last mission, but, really, it's no big deal! I'm fine."

Coran tutted and stepped forward making a beckoning motion. Lance put his hands up "Really Coran, it's nothing."

"Come on now lad, show Coran!" The ginger Altaen made a grab for Lance's jacket.

Lance flung himself back from the grabbing hand, and regretted his theatrics immediately.

He winced and Coran made an affirmative noise and pulled Lance over to the examination table.

Lance surrendered, he knew he had been defeated. Coran waved at him to remove his jacket and helped him shed his tshirt.

Coran gasped as he took in the mix of colors that swirled and stretched from his upper pectoral past his navel. “Lad you look like you tried to wrestle a wild suuerbeh!"  
”A suu- no, it was just a bit of turbulence in the last mission is all. I'm ok really.".

Coran tutted, "Lad..." The Altaen watched Lance obviously expecting an explanation. They stared eachother down waiting to see who would break first.

  
Coran was blocking Lance's exit and he was probably the only one who knew what medicine would help the paladin recover.  
Lance grit his teeth and the exhaled. "Ugh. Fine."

"During the last mission Hunk and I were under heavy fire. There was no good place to set down so I had to just open the hatch and let the Blades jump. There were a lot of fighters and I was doing my best to keep them off of Hunk, because Yellow doesn't move as quick as Blue, and make sure the Blade got to the ground ok. And... well I kinda missed a fighter coming up behind me and Blue took a pretty good hit. She's fine! And I just got thrown around a little! It's no big deal."

Coran pursed his lips and looked the paladin up and down.

“I wish you would have said something sooner. We would have just popped you in a pod-“

"No!" Lance practically jumped off the table earning him a curious look from the Altaen. "I-I mean, heh. It's not so bad, a few days, and I'll be fine, no pod required."

"Yes but with the pod it would take only a few varga, maybe less considering it's already begun to heal.”

"T-that's okay Caron, really. I'll just take some medicine. Everyone is working so hard, and I need to be helping. Plus, I don't want anyone worried on my account. Hunk would blame himself. I was just being dumb. It's just a bruise anyway. Besides we've got training in half a Varga, you know they'll just fall apart if I'm not there!''

Coran was unsure, but he actually thought there was some truth to the blue paladin's joke. The team had been fractured as of late and the boy's attempts at creating  
some kind of normalcy were the only thing keeping them from imploding.

"Actually lad, I'm quite not sure you should be training like this. Your ribs are bruised, and I'm afraid too much stress might injure them further."

"I promise I'll be careful Coran, just don't make me go in a pod okay?"

Lance could sense Coran suspected there was more Lance wasn't saying.

"I just... everyone is so on edge right now without Shiro. We need something normal... no one should worry about me.”

Coran put his hand on Lance's shoulder. "I understand...and! I think I have just the thing to dull your pain.”

Lance's smile returned. "Really?!"

* * *

  
Keith sprinted away from the med bay as quietly as he could. His face was burning. 

Anger, confusion, worry, there were several feelings cycling through his mind. 

He'd been going to grab some tape for his sore wrist before team training. He may have strained it going overboard training on his own. Instead he'd caught Lance talking to Coran with his shirt off.

Keith knew Lance had been injured on the last mission, and was hiding it. The purples and yellows and greens spiraling up Lance's side were worse than he'd been imagining.  
Lance thought his injury wasn't important enough to warrant a pod. He thought his team didn't need to know.

Keith growled, how could that idiot think that? Why had he lied? 

Keith knew Lance hated looking weak. So did Keith. Knowing Lance, it was probably worse than he was even telling Coran, and yet he still wanted to help the team.   
Keith could feel his emotions boiling again.

Lance’s secrecy might’ve lead to others on the team getting hurt as well. Keith couldn’t believe the idiot hadn’t even considered that. Why didn’t Lance just tell him when he’d asked the day they came back? 

Keith knew the answer, Lance hated him, but why hadn’t he told anyone else? Coran had practically forced it out of him.

Keith had seen Lance moan and complain and beg Hunk to care for him over a paper cut, so why when it was something actually serious had he’d stayed quiet?

_“Hunk would blame himself.”_

The words echoed in Keith’s ears. Lance had been thinking of the team. He’d been thinking of how they would have felt, and even Keith knew something like this would send Hunk into a nervous breakdown. And Lance  probably thought Keith would be mad or make fun him.

Well, Keith was mad.

Keith groaned. If only Shiro were here.

The older man had had a knack for getting the others to open up, but Keith only excelled at pushing them away. 

What was Keith supposed to do about this? Why did Shiro seem to think he’d be able to lead this team? The black lion hadn’t moved since they’d towed it to the hanger. He hadn’t really made an attempt at connecting with it, granted, but there was just no way he could pilot it. 

He knew without the Black Lion they'd all been struggling and he knew injuries like this would continue if they didn't find a way to form Voltron.They were stretched thin and luckily things had been quiet enough that they hadn’t had need of Voltron yet.

He thought about the rest of the team, everyone was so on edge he wasn’t sure they would be able to form Voltron even with another Paladin. Their bond was suffering, and a lot of it was Keith’s fault. 

They probably all hated him as much as Lance did at the moment.

Shiro would know what to do.

  
The thought of his brother brought Keith’s emotions to a head, the heat Keith felt was threatening to burn his skin.

He took off running wanting to do anything to get away from the spiraling thoughts in his head.

* * *

 

When Coran said he had something to help with Lance’s pain, he hadn’t mentioned that it would taste like the ass end of a rotting fish, and that while he had to admit he wasn’t hurting as bad, his stomach was now staging a mutiny. 

He trudged to the kitchen dragging his breast plate. He figured he’d finish suiting up for training after he’d found something to wash the taste out of his mouth and settle his now talking stomach.

When he rounded the corner into the kitchen Hunk was already in there.

”Oh hey man. Just making a snack before training. Want something?”

”Hey Hunk-oh god. Talking oxidizes it.” Lance clamped his hand over his mouth and pushed past Hunk to grab a water pouch, downing the whole thing before grabbing another and repeating the process.

”Oh, man...did Coran make you drink Nunvil again?”

Lance gasped for air, “Not Nunvil, some stupid Altean med-“ He caught himself and began sipping on his water pouch again. 

“Medicine? What for?”

Lance put on a smile, “Nothing buddy, don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

Hunk looked at him suspiciously, “Uh huh...sure, Lance I’m always worried about you.”

”Cause you looove me?” Lance crooned.

Hunk sighed, the worry creeping from his face. “Cause you like to be reckless and sometimes have a tendency to get yourself blown up.”

”That was one time!”

“Twice, I’m counting the time you tried to make garlic rolls by yourself.”

”Hey, there was minimal blast radius, and my eyebrows were only lightly singed!”

”And my kitchen was only _lightly_ out of commission for two movements.”

”Oh yeah, who can forget the famine.” 

“We still had food goo.” 

“You and I both know that doesn’t count.”

Hunk chuckled in agreement. Lance leaned over the table so he was looking up at Hunk, “ _But...”_

“But what?” 

“But, despite all that...”

Hunk realized what the Cuban boy was fishing for and sighed loudly. “ _But,_ I love you.”

Lance gasped, “I _knew_ it!”

Hunk continued to tinker around the kitchen grabbing things, and finally grabbing the snacks he had made.

”Alright man, if you help me carry this stuff to the training room you can have some, but you have to share with Pidge, I’m not sure she’s eaten today.”

”Oh she has...or at least I took her some food earlier, but I’ll admit I didn’t see if she ate it. Usually if I stick the food between her and whatever screen she’s planted in front of it ends up in her mouth...or on the ground. So there’s like a 50% chance?”

Hunk chuckled, “Thank you for braving the wrath of the gremlin. I commend you sir for your attempts to feed the beast.”

”Dude, you have no idea I thought she was gonnna bite me once.”

”She probably would have, not gonna lie...”

They continued down the hall chattering back and forth. Hunk worrying over if he had made enough snacks, and Lance joking around. They finally arrived at the training room after a few minutes.

”I’m telling ya Hunk the ladies love them some Lance, guess they just can’t resist the Sharpshooter.” Lance chattered on as he reached for the access pad to open the door to the training room. He stopped as Hunk grabbed his arm.

”Lance...you’re sure you’re okay right?”

Lance looked at Hunk with wide eyes, before his face softened. “Yeah man, I promise. You just worry about getting through this training session. With the mood Keith’s been in it should be interesting...”

Hunk smiled softly, “Hmm...yeah.”

Lance trotted away into the training room, dismissing the worry in Hunk’s tone. He skipped in to find Pidge planted in the center of the training floor with her face buried in her laptop.

Lance plopped down next to Pidge and reached over and swapped her computer for the plate of food Hunk had given him.

”LANCE!” Pidge clawed at him, but he rolled out of her way and handed the laptop to Hunk who looked slightly scared at the turn of events.

Pidge started to make a move for Hunk, but Lance caught her. “Uh, uh uh, hermanita it’s food time.” He saved the endangered plate from the girl’s lap and put it in her field of vision. 

Pidge glared at him, but settled, “If I lost any of that I will evicerate you in your sleep.”

Lance shrugged, “Eh, at least I’ll go in my sleep. Anyway, even I know you’ve got that thing set to save automatically every 2.5 ticks.” 

Hunk nodded in agreement.

Pidge growled. Actually growled, but she plopped down and dug into the snacks.

 Lance relaxed and began stretching his arms. “Any idea what Coran will make us do today?”

”Nope but I really hope we don’t try the shield drill. I think Keith might just let me get hit on purpose.”

”Nah don’t worry buddy, I’ll protect you even if mullet-boy doesn’t.”

”Speaking of which where even is Keith we are supposed to start soon.”

”Eh, he’ll show up. He practically lives in here. He’s probably just observing his 12:00 brooding time.” Lance waved off his friend’s concern. 

He was only partially joking. Keith was practically always in the training room. After Shiro disappeared it had gotten even worse and it had taken Lance longer than he liked to admit to realize the other boy had not been to dinner for days, and Lance didn’t hear Keith come back to his room across the hall until very late. 

The only thing that got Keith out of the training room was if Lance was able to annoy him out of it. He’d come in and complain about Keith hogging the room, or he’d send Coran to do “maintenance” on the room. Usually if he could get Keith out for a few minutes Keith’s body would do the rest of the work and make him head to bed or the kitchen. 

Another 15 doboshes passed before Coran arrived in the control deck. The Garrison trio were warming up and stretching and chatting. 

“Alrighty Paladins! Training time. We’ll be running a few drills to work on our recon maneuvers. Hunk and Pidge you’ll be getting in close to capture the ‘info’ from the drones. Lance...you’ll cover them from afar.” Lance mentally groaned, Coran was holding him back on purpose. “And K-wait a tick! Where is Keith?”

The red paladin still had not arrived. Allura chimed in over the intercom. “Where is he? He knows we were planning a session. We cannot afford to slack right now.” 

It was odd that Keith hadn’t yet arrived. He heard Allura try to page him and get nothing. They could pinpoint his location from the main computers if he was in the castle, but Lance had a feeling he knew where he was.

”Hey...guys I think I know where he might be.”

 

* * *

Keith had completely lost track of all time. He was staring at the Black Lion. He had finally come back here. God knows he’d attempted to come back here several times after that first night. 

He’d hover by the hanger door too scared to open it. Too scared to see the Black Lion still lying there lifeless. Too scared of what might happen if he got too close. 

Even now his heart sped up a little at the prospect of see the Black Lion sit up and its eyes fill with life again. No. He begged that that wouldn’t happen.

If he closed his eyes he could imagine Black sitting up maw open and Shiro sauntering down the ramp, ready to lecture him about a bonehead move he’d made with Red. But, when he opened them he saw Black crumpled on the castle floor looking vacant and abandoned. 

Is that not what they had done, what Keith had done? Abandoned her? 

Keith knew the other lions were frantic to hear their leader again, he could feel the tension in the other paladins, but Keith was terrified. 

Even if they found someone else it may take a long time to form a bond with the team. He knew they needed to form Voltron again, but he was wary about bringing someone new into the team. 

‘Maybe Black would choose one of the others, Allura maybe? Just... anybody but Keith.

Finding a new paladin felt like giving up, felt like betraying his brother, but what really scared him is who the Lion would pick.

* * *

 Lance was silent as they walked down to the hanger. Everyone was.

No one seemed thrilled to be heading into the Black Lion’s hanger. Lance knew they all had been avoiding it, the day they found the lion empty was not a day anyone liked to remember. 

He’d seen Keith hovering around the hanger on multiple occasions, but never going in. He figured if they couldn’t find him now maybe he’d finally gone in. 

Sure enough the doors slid open to reveal the red paladin frozen in front of the crumpled form of the Black Lion.

Everyone fell in step next to Lance and stood in silence. Lance had to admit usually just the sight of the Red Paladin irritated him, but at this moment the boy just looked like he was being crushed under the weight of the universe.

He could feel as everyone next to them started to look in his direction, but he was already stepping off towards the other paladin. 

He stepped up next to Keith. “Hey man...”

* * *

 

 A few hours later they were all sitting in the lounge discussing their next move. Keith felt a hundred times better, he had to admit, even though he was still afraid of what might be coming. They’d been talking for hours trying to decide how to go about finding a pilot for Black, but so far no one was sure what to do.

Keith stood to the side of the group, still not sure about how he felt about this conversation, but he knew they were right when they said this is what Shiro would’ve wanted.

He’d want them to keep fighting, even though it was hard, he’d want them to continue on for the good of the universe. And, maybe with Voltron they’d have a better chance of figuring out what had happened. 

Pidge brought up an interesting point that Allura had once told them who would pilot each lion. It was true, she had, if only she was able to find new Paladins the same way she could locate the lions. 

Then it came, what he’d been dreading. Coran remembered the day the Black Lion had let him fly it to save Shiro. 

The anxiety built up in him again.

”Keith would be the worst leader of Voltron!” He’s right, Keith thought.

Pidge agreed with Lance, of course she did. They were right to not want him as the leader. 

“...and Lance is the goofball.”

Lance protested Pidge’s statement and Keith could tell Lance really was hurt by the comment, but he was having enough trouble keeping hold of his own emotions, and he found himself adding another jab at Lance’s expense.

Lance snapped, “I’m being completely serious when I say that I do not want you to lead me anywhere!”

Keith knew he deserved it, but the comment was just enough to send him boiling over.

”I don’t want to be the leader that’s just what Shiro wanted!”

Everyone stared at him in shock. They had questions, Lance, of course, had doubts.

”How convenient you bringing this up now, when Shiro is gone!”

”If you want the job so badly, you can have it!”

Pidge and Hunk starting protesting their own cases. This was all falling to pieces everyone was at each others throats, it took Coran’s voice of reason to bring them back to sense.

”...It’s not our decision to make.We must allow the lion to decide!”

That’s it the decision was made they would all be put to the test, and all of Keith’s fear came crashing down on him.

* * *

Lance looked at Black Lion nervously. Did he really want this? 

He had been shocked to hear of Shiro's plans for Keith, but despite his protests he didn't doubt that Shiro had preferred Keith to any of the others. To Lance.

It was always Keith. Lance knew that the two paladins had a history, but it didn't matter, Keith was still the better pilot, still the better fighter, and just overall the better paladin.

Lance knew he hadn't even been on Shiro's mind as a possibility to replace him, but did Lance really believe the older man was wrong in that.

He was not the best pilot, despite his boasts. He didn't have any special talents like the others. He wasn't very smart or strong or fast. So why did he even pretend like he could lead the team? 

He watched as the others took their turns. Hunk practically had to be forced into the Lion and when he wasn't chosen the teen was almost giddy.

Lance knew Hunk didn't want to be the leader, and saw plenty of reasons why the boy wouldn't be the Lion's choice, but he also knew that Hunk was smart, and when it came down to it he could rally the others easily.

Pidge was indifferent upon leaving. She shrugged and made a comment about not being able to reach the pedals anyway. Pidge was brilliant and able to think analytically about things, but Lance knew she really didn't have any ambition to be the leader. She was happy being the team's tech expert.

Allura had exited looking sad. If anyone else had a chance at the role, Lance thought it would have been Allura. She was amazing, and already had taken a lot of the leadership role on since Shiro's disappearance, but the Lion had remained still. 

Lance entered the Lion apprehensively, taking his time, paying attention to Black's interior as he did with Blue. 

Maybe this is what he do to help the team. He had no other way to contribute, maybe this, maybe as the leader he could prove his place as paladin was valid.

He spoke to Black the same way he did with Blue, trying to connect with Lion's consciousness, but he only felt the faint cool presence of his lion, who seemed to be keeping her distance.

Black didn't respond and Lance's stomach dropped out beneath him. Disappointment settled on his shoulders, and his face fell. He wasn't surprised, but he had been hopeful. Now he trudged back to Black's ramp.

"So, how long are we going to let Lance sit in there?"

The other's voices carried to where he still stood in shadow. 

"Yeah, he's been in there for half a varga!"

Lance cleared his throat and schooled his face into one of annoyance, before stomping down the ramp and plopping down in front of Hunk exclaiming dramatically.

Lance had failed, which meant it was Keith's turn. Lance peaked over to Keith, frustration building in his gut. 

Once he Keith's stance the irritation waned a little, as he saw how tense the paladin looked. He was obviously not thrilled about being tested by the lion.

Lance's eyes followed the red paladin as he dragged his feet towards the lion.  

Keith was only in the lion for about five minutes when the Lion came to life with a low rumble and it's eyes were ablaze. 

Looking at the revitalized lion Lance's irritation and jealousy flared, but the the ramp lowered  and Keith stepped down looking absolutely defeated. 

He hadn't wanted this after all. 

It was like a fire being doused in him. He heard the other's congratulate Keith, but the other boy stared at the ground.

Keith was quiet and looked at them all before saying bluntly, "No. I don't except this."

Everyone was thrown back, Lance stared at Keith, confused, Why wouldn't he except? This is what Shiro had asked of him, wasn't it? The lion had chosen him. The lion wouldn't choose someone who didn't deserve the role. Lance knew this.

Allura pleaded, "You must, the Black Lion has chosen you!"

Keith's eyes were wild, "I can't replace Shiro! You guys were right! I'm the loner...I'm not the leader Shiro thought I was."

Lance's feet seemed to move on their own until he was in front of the other boy. He put his hand on Keith's shoulder. Keith gasped as he looked up at Lance.

"Keith. No one can replace Shiro, but...the Black Lion wouldn't choose anybody it didn't feel was worthy to lead Voltron. I respect it's choice. You should too." 

* * *

 

Keith waited with the others in the lounge. Allura was trying the Red Lion.

He knew she wanted this, he knew she had what it took to be a paladin, and more than anyone she deserved it. He had hoped the Black Lion would choose her, but when it hadn't he had become resigned to what was going to happen.

He looked across from him where Lance sat fidgeting and worrying over a seam in his armor.

If it hadn't been for the blue paladin he would have probably ran the minute the Black Lion awoke.

Lance trusted him, or at least he trusted the Black Lion. Keith still wondered why Lance hadn't told him about getting hurt on Puig.

He wanted to ask about it, but he worried the current peace between them would break if he outed him in front of the others. He obviously didn't want them to know either.

Hunk and Pidge seemed wrapped in their own quiet conversation so he figured he'd try.

"Um...hey Lance?"

The tanned skin boy looked up, still picking at his armor "Hmm?"

"Just...I've been wanting to ask you-"

He was interrupted by the lounge doors sliding open and Allura stepping in looking dejected. It hadn't worked. 

Coran tried to comfort her, but she recovered quickly. They now had a new task, finding a new paladin for the red lion, they still couldn't form Voltron.

* * *

 

The conversation they had been having before about finding a new paladin began again. 

They could ask people from the Coalition, but the felt if the knowledge that they were down a paladin became too widely known, they'd be vulnerable to attack. So they couldn't just post a "Help Wanted" sign in the Castle's window. 

Everyone had their opinions on who they could ask.

Lance of course wanted to go back to the water planet he and hunk had been stranded on. Keith saw a few flaws in that plan, but figured Lance was too busy thinking about the pretty mermaids to think that through. 

Hunk suggested the Blade, and Pidge the Olkari. The only problem Keith swath the Olkari is that they didn't really need another Pidge, and as for the Blade...he just had his own reasons for avoiding them.

Their debate was interrupted by the screen on the wall as someone hailed them.

"Voltron we need your help!"

The Puig leader was panicked as he informed them of the assault taking place. 

Allura sent them off running towards their lions. Keith ran to catch up with Lance.

"Lance! Hey about what I wanted to ask-"

"Keith, whatever it is can we discuss it later? Kinda an emergency here?" Lance said jabbing a thumb towards the bridge.

"O-oh yeah of course...yeah."

Lance looked at him unsure, before patting him on the shoulder. "C'mon we've got a planet to save, leader." 

They took off towards the bridge.

* * *

 Lance pondered what Keith wanted to ask as he rode the zip-line down to his hanger. 

He was feeling better about not being chosen by Black, and he knew he wasn't right for the role, he'd just been desperate to prove himself.  Despite Keith's protests, Lance could see what Shiro saw in him. 

He was a natural.

It seemed like everything Keith tried he mastered. Lance remembered their days in the Garrison. 

Keith had risen through the ranks of their class with little effort. The teachers all loved him for his skill, although his people skills sucked. Lance tried and scraped and did everything he could to make others like him, but Keith...

Keith had Shiro. Everyone knew Shiro got him in, but after that Keith just excelled on his own, everything he touched seem to turn to gold. 

Lance had always had to to dig in and work and convince those around him he was worth looking at. From his skills to his appearance he worked hard. And Keith...it felt like he never had. 

Lance dropped into the shuttle smoothly as always and rode the rest of the way to Blue's hanger. 

At least Lance had Blue she always was a comforting cool touch at the back of his mind. Ever since they first connected in the desert all those months ago, he and Blue had been a unit working in tandem. Well, except for that one time Lance was challenging Keith and they crashed into the ground.

Except, he realized, he didn't feel her right now. Lance tried to reach out to her to let her know he was on his way, but nothing. No feeling of excitement like usual, no cool calming tendril weaving through his thoughts, just nothing. 

Panic started to pool in Lance's gut as the lion came into view. Her shields were up, and her eyes were dark.

* * *

Black did not respond like Red. 

Even leaving the hanger Keith could feel the blaring differences between the two. Red was swift and felt like she anticipated his thoughts; Black was steadfast and powerful, but slower and heavier to maneuver.

He felt the others fall in next to him. _This is it._ They needed to get in and assess the source of the attack. What would Shiro do? 

"Alright guys we're not about to let the Galra take back this planet! Follow me."

Pidge's voice rang out to him. "Where's Lance?"

Keith's stomach dropped. He looked around and didn't see the Blue lion anywhere. Lance was hurt maybe he'd hurt himself more getting to his lion? 

"Lance? Where are you?" He called out into the comms as tension built inside of him.

The tension broke as Lance's voice called back. "My lion's not responding to me!" He sounded irritated, but Keith didn't miss the hint of panic and desperation to the other boy's voice.

Keith exhaled, he was okay at least. But they still needed him in this fight. "Figure it out and catch up as soon as you can!"

* * *

 

Keith was mad at him, Lance could tell. He didn't know why Blue was blocking him out. He'd tried everything.

Tears stung at the back of his eyes, but he bit them back. Keith was right to be mad, Lance was useless without Blue, and they needed his help.

He could hear their shouts over the comms as things got more desperate.

"Blue! Please." Lance knelt in front of her begging. "They need you Blue. Please, I understand if you don't want me as your paladin, but please! Help them!" 

He heard footsteps quickly coming towards him and he stood looking up at his lion.  _Blue, come on, please._

"Lance, what's wrong?" Allura came up behind him. Of course, not only had he made Keith mad, but now the Princess got to witness this mess.

Suddenly words came flooding out of him and he couldn't stop. He didn't dare look back at Allura as he spoke. Everything that had been going through his mind.

"...I guess...I guess now I'm not even meant to be a paladin."

As he spoke the last words a roar shook the castle, no shook him. Heat seemed to flood his mind. He looked at Blue, she hadn't moved. 

"What was that?"

Allure's face lit up with realization. "It's the Red Lion! You must go to it!" 

Lance drew back, no it couldn't be calling for him. Why would it want him? It had to want someone else. It had to be for Allura, it was her father's lion. She was a born leader. Lance was just Lance.

 Allura looked him in the eye as he said as much.

"I would love nothing more than for that to be true, but I know the Red lion is not meant for me. It is choosing you!"

Lance stood stock still as she compared him to her father. He wasn't anything like Voltron's creator, was he?

She put her hand on his shoulder and he looked into her eyes. She truly believed he could do this.

"I won't let him down."

"Go."

* * *

 

Keith sent off another shot and battled with his controls to make Black do what he wanted, but he was struggling and he knew it. 

The Lion seemed patient but he could tell it was getting frustrated with him. 

He had to keep it together, and figure this out, but they still needed more help. There were too many fighters for three lions. 

Where was Lance?

* * *

 

Lance sprinted towards the Red lion's hanger as fast as he could sliding to a halt in front of the hanger door. 

He reached out to open it, but hesitated. What if Allura was wrong?

As his mind started down that path again the heat from before flooded his mind. This time it was impatient, and angry. 

The doors in front of him flew open to reveal the red lion. It's eyes were alight and it seemed to be glaring at him. It let lose a low rumble that vibrated his chest. 

"Are you sure?" Lance said almost to himself.

Red growled and impatience and offense flashed through his mind, like  _You dare_ _question my decision?_

Lance gulped and stepped forward until he was in front of the Lion. It let down it's head and as soon as Lance took a step into it's mouth it slammed closed, closing off his exit. 

"Um...ok then." 

Lance trotted through the Lion's mouth to the cockpit. When he finally sat down in the seat, warmth flooded his mind, except this time it was almost comforting and full of anticipation. The impatience was still there, but this time the message was clear.  __

_It's about time._

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a disastrous first mission the new team must work on their bond and figuring out the new dynamic. Lance and Keith butt heads as they try to find balance in their new roles. Red has to knock sense into her new paladin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for those who've stuck with this. I know it's just getting started and theres a long way to go. I'm sorry the last chapter took so long. I actually had it done and then the program kept crashing and I got mad and quit on it for a while. But, I'm back and after season 7 I have a lot of Klance feels to work out so bear with me.
> 
> Also this chapter will start to diverge greatly from canon. I will still include some of the things and plot points from the canon, but it will start to be very different from here.
> 
> *** Also please be sure that you have read the whole of the last chapter. Like I said the program kept crashing and it originally only posted half of the chapter (and deleted the other half, incurring my wrath,) so please make sure you have finished the chapter before this.***

 

Despite the occasional depression and self-depreciation, Lance considered himself to be pretty optimistic. 

His mamá had always taught him that there were always those who had it worse. No matter how bad things got there was always something that could be a positive. His family had gone several months one year with barely enough money for food, and she had looked at him and said "Mijo, we have a roof over our heads, and love for each other. With these things not everyone is blessed." 

Even though that roof leaked and there were way too many people for the small house near Varadero. Even though they practically lived on beans and rice for a while. Even though they had to scrape to pull together money for Lance to follow in his big sister, Veronica's, steps to the Garrison when he wasn't able to get the full scholarship like she was. His mamá was constantly there telling him to be positive, and to think of others had less. 

"Mijo, you were chosen to join the Galaxy Garrison, the same as your hermana. This is something important. This is a thing that many try to do, but you have done. The money will come, as it always has. You must remember this is a blessing. You have achieved so much niño, do not let these worries make you forget that." 

But, Lance thought, not even his mamá could put a positive spin on what an absolute shit-show their first mission as the new Team Voltron had been.

Keith had had some sort of breakdown that led them into the mess that was the foggy red planet. The team had been separated and made vulnerable. Keith was definitely not the level headed leader Shiro had been. 

Lance remembered racing behind Keith, the only one able to keep up with the other paladin's fury, screaming at the Black lion's pilot to stop. 

Keith's recklessness had put them in a bad spot, and it could've ended horribly.

The unfamiliar heat that now lived in the back of his mind seemed to smack him mentally. _But it didn't,_ Red seemed to say. 

Lance also sensed that he was getting annoyed at his mental degrading of his former Paladin. He apologized softly before sending a teasing and boastful thought,  _Yeah because I saved the day, because I'm awesome._

Red rumbled in his mind and sent him a flash of a memory from the earlier battle when they'd first flown together. In it he was struggling with the unfamiliar speed and maneuverability and the screams coming from him were...less than manly.

Underneath though, he thought he could feel the tiniest bit of pride, though, like he was proud of himself for something. Probably for his joke. Oh good, now even his lion liked to make jokes at his expense.

The heat smacked him again. _Stop it._ He felt the same feeling like before, he was satisfied with his choice.

 _Aw, she likes me._ Lance thought.

 _You're adequate._ He seemed to say back with a pulse of stubbornness.

"Gee, thanks Red." Lance said out loud.

"Lance?" 

Lance jumped out of his skin at the unexpected voice. He had been so lost in his bickering with Red he'd not noticed Keith joining him  in the lounge. 

Keith looked at the way he was posed holding his hand over his heart, waiting for his breathing to settle. He looked slightly amused by the image, and Lance felt a weird tug in the pit of his stomach at the other boy's soft expression. 

"Uh...sorry." Keith offered. 

Lance took a breath and shook his head. "S'fine." his voice was slightly higher than intended. 

"Are you...talking to Red?" 

Heat rushed to Lance's face, although he wasn't sure why. They all had bonds like this with their lions, it's not like he'd been caught doing something weird. 

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, more like he's making fun of me." 

Keith looked surprised and then he chuckled. "That's my boy."

Warmth and fondness fluttered in his mind. Lance chose to ignore the weird thing that did to his own thoughts. "Heh, yeah I guess he must have learned from you? I'm sure you gave him plenty of material, huh mullet?" 

It wasn't accusatory. It was teasing, but still Lance saw this flutter of hesitation in Keith's eyes. The split second decision between taking the joke or getting defensive. 

He seemed to make his decision. "Well, he sees everything I see...or saw. You provided plenty of material all on your own."

Lance grinned, "Oh yeah? Just be glad you didn't end up in Blue! It'd just be a constant blooper reel of that time you tripped during training and got smacked on the butt or the time you drank Nunvil and almost puked!"

Keith scoffed, "You drank it too!"

"Yeah, but I didn't know any better! You saw me drink it, you had to know it was bad." 

Keith went a little red at that, "Igotdistractedandforgot." 

"Huh?"

"I got distracted."

"What? You? Keith Yeehaw McMullet?" "That's not my name." "You? Distracted? Whaaaat?"

"Stop it."

Lance chuckled, "Ah I'm kidding samurai!" He poked Keith in the arm. "I've done it before I get it! It's a reflex. I once was holding a cup of paint water for my sister, and completely forgot for a minute until I suddenly decided to take a drink. I chugged about half of it before the taste hit me. Thankfully kids paints are non-toxic." 

Lance smiled at the memory and pushed back against the slight sadness that popped up with it.

He blinked as his mind returned to the present. 

Keith looked a little out of place, like he wasn't sure what to do now. Lance caught his attention and leaned forward. 

"So...uh did you need something?"

Keith started a little bit, "Uh...I just..."

"I wanted to say uh...thanks I guess? For helping me...out...there." 

Lance's eyes got big and he was genuinely surprised by the other paladin's words. He could tell Keith was having a hard time saying them. His arms were crossed and his face was drawn. He was waiting for a reply and the longer Lance took to say something the more the the dark haired boy's eyes furrowed. But, Lance genuinely didn't know what to say. He hadn't done anything spectacular. He'd just talked. It's what he did, although now he was having a hard time doing that very thing. 

Red pushed at him to respond, he didn't like that Lance was leaving his paladin hanging. 

Lance coughed,"Oh, um, no problem?" 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Lance's internal need for noise got the better of him. "So um, how is flying the Black lion? Cool?" 

Keith looked up like he was puzzled at Lance's attempt at conversation. "It's different."

Lance snorted at the short answer. "Well, yeah, I figured that. Thank you for that detailed analyses Keith. I mean did you like it? After we got past all of the nearly dying stuff, I mean?"

"I'm sorry."

Lance backpedaled, he knew Keith felt bad about how he'd reacted, and he was not ready to be teased about it. "No...man...ugh...mierda. It's fine, I mean everyone's okay. Yeah, you kinda ran off, but you already apologized. And we were able to form Voltron in the end, granted by the skin of our teeth, and damn it felt weird as hell in the new formation. But, you were still awesome, like usual, and I'm sure Shiro would be really proud. Well, after probably going all dad about running off... ugh no... I mean-"

"You think Shiro would be proud?"

Lance swallowed the rest of his word vomit. "Uh...?"

Keith was looking at him looking so unsure, and slightly sad, and díos if Lance didn't want to hug him. Wait. No. 

* * *

 Lance was staring at him. Gaping actually. Keith figured he was probably trying to think how to take back everything he'd just said. 

Keith could feel himself retreating back into his head like he always did. And just like it always did the negative thoughts started coming to the forefront. He knew Lance didn't like him, but he had come to Keith's aid in the last mission and he had brought Keith back to sense. He'd been blunt and told Keith that he'd messed up, and Keith knew they would have been in real trouble without the new red paladin.

Keith really didn't deserve to be leader. Lance had been right to question it originally.

 _But he supported you._ A calm presence reminded him. It showed him the scene from before, after he'd been chosen by the Black lion.  Lance's hand on his shoulder, the way he'd said his name. The tug in his stomach at the look in the other boy's eyes. 

 _He probably regrets all that now_ , Keith thought. He felt a wave a assurance from the back of his mind.  _You don't know that. Red would not pick him lightly._

Black's bond was different than Red's. Red was all heat and impulse and fire. While Black was a strong, calm presence that was just there, guiding and helping, but quiet. It reminded him of Shiro. 

"Uh...Keith?" Lance's voice brought him back to the present.

Lance was looking at him with concern again. Keith really didn't know how to feel about that expression on Lance. He wasn't good with most of the overly expressive boy's faces. 

"Look I...I know this isn't something you were ready for, dios, none of us were...but I do think you can do it. The Black lion knows what it's doing. I think you should trust it." 

Keith was shocked, why was Lance being so...nice? Keith figured he was probably just too tired to antagonize Keith like normal. Or maybe...

"And don't worry, we're gonna find Shiro, and when we do, things can...be normal I guess?" Lance fumbled. 

Keith didn't understand the paladin's need to fill all silence with noise, but he guessed he also wasn't the best conversation partner either.

He cleared his throat, "Uh...so how's Red? Do you...do you like flying him?"

Lance chuckled, "You know, even if I didn't, Red is listening and he'd probably find some way to hurt me if I said no right?" He got silent for a second as Keith assumed Red had already begun protesting, Keith smiled a little thinking about it. "Geez this chico lindo doesn't know how to take a joke. Just like his paladin." Lance shot Keith a look.

"You're his paladin." Keith said bluntly. Lance's expression changed. Keith didn't really understand what was going on in the other boy's head but he seemed to cycle through a few different thoughts at a time.

"Yeah," Lance chuckled, though the smile didn't reach his eyes. "to answer your question, yes I did like flying him. I love Blue, always will, but Red is...intense. Like nothing I've ever felt. And mierda he can move! He's so damn fast Keith. Honestly if you weren't...you. I'd question how you made it look so easy."

Keith furrowed his brow. He didn't understand what Lance meant by that. If he wasn't him? Who else would he be?

"Someone with better fashion sense for one." Lance teased. Oh, he'd said that out loud. 

Keith looked up at the other boy. Lance was smiling. It was an easy smile one that Keith had seen on the boy several times, but hardly ever around him, and much less because of him. Keith dropped his arms from where he had them crossed. His hand brushed against something on his belt. 

"Oh...um I guess this...this is yours now." He pulled the red bayard from where it rested on his hip.

Lance's eyes were wide as he stared at the weapon being held out to him. Like he thought Keith was going to activate it and attack him.

"Are you...sure?" Lance sounded absolutely confused.

"Well you are the Red paladin now." 

Lance still just stared, "I..."

Why wouldn't he just take it? Frustration pooled in Keith's gut again. "Just! Here!" He shoved the weapon into Lance's hand. 

Lance held it like he'd just been handed a bomb. "Keith...really? You're ok with this?" 

Keith groaned, "Yes Lance! Don't be stupid! You're the red paladin you get the red bayard!" He couldn't help the bite in his voice, and he didn't miss the bit of hurt that crossed the other boy's features, but he didn't understand why he wouldn't just take the stupid bayard. 

Things got quiet again. They sat in silence as both paladins seemed to be having a war in their minds. 

Black nudged Keith. The feeling was one of scolding. It wasn't angry, but like the lion was telling him softly that he could've done that better. Keith was struggling with his new position as leader, who's to say Lance wasn't too? Keith glanced to the side over at Lance, who was just staring at the bayard in his hands, although now he was looking at it more like a gift, like something he didn't deserve. 

But this was Lance, cocky, exuberant, boastful Lance, when in the Cuban boy's life had he ever been unsure about anything?

Lance broke the silence again. "Thank you, Keith." 

Keith looked over at him. Lance stood and took the bayard in his hands and activated it. It turned to light and reformed into a blaster, much like the blue bayard used to turn into. It was weird seeing it in that form, but it belonged to Lance now, and Lance was the sharpshooter, at least according to Lance.

"I guess I better go get acquainted with my new bayard." Lance deactivated it and turned to leave smiling at Keith in a goodbye.

Keith reached out and grabbed Lance's arm to stop him. "Wait."

Lance turned to face him, face questioning.

"There's actually something...something I wanted to ask you about. I-I tried before, but..."

"Oh yeah! I remember, what did you need?"

"Um...I know you got hurt when you and Hunk went to Puig. I saw you talking to Coran. Um..."

Lance cocked an eyebrow, "So you _were_ spying?"

"No!" Keith shouted, probably a little too forcefully. Damn he was bad at this. "I was going to the med bay for a wrap, and I accidentally saw you." 

Lance looked like he was trying to decide if he believed Keith, but he didn't say anything.

"I get why you didn't want to tell me, but don't you think the team deserved to know? What if you got more hurt, and couldn't fly?"

Lance's brows furrowed, "I'm fine, I didn't want them to worry about nothing, and I didn't get hurt again, so it's fine." He said almost like he was talking to himself.

"Lance...it looked bad."

"I said I'm fine, Keith. Don't worry about it."

"Lance...as the leader-"

"Well it's not like you even want to be the leader, so just leave me alone." Lance pulled away, not realizing the chord he'd struck in Keith.

Even without Red's influence heat pooled inside of him, "You're right I didn't, but I am now, and you gonna have to deal with it. And I know you're not fine! So quit being an idiot and let people help you!"

"Well if I'm such an idiot, then how come I was the one who had to pull your greasy ass back from the edge?"

"Maybe I was just trying to get away from you!"

"Well, guess what Mullet, you're gonna get your wish. I'm out!" 

Lance stormed out and Keith was left in the lounge alone stewing in his frustration. 

He could feel Black rolling his eyes at him.

_Good job._

* * *

Lance trudged down the hall. He was fuming. Where did Keith get off, spying on him with Coran? He was fine! It’s not like it even hurt anymore. Sure it still looked like an expressionist painting up and down his torso,  but it didn’t hurt! 

Stupid Keith, it’s not like he was known for being completely open when he got hurt.  Lance stomped down the hall looking for someone to complain to. 

They all knew Keith was perfect and had never made a mistake like Lance did and got hurt because of it. _Wrong._ The feeling of reprehension and exasperation tickled the back of his mind. 

_Oh really Red, you gonna share?_

Reprehension again, and tantalization. Like she was telling him he was not one to talk. He’d heard the saying from his mamá about the pot and the kettle, and somehow he felt like he was under her scolding gaze right now. 

‘Who was he to tease Keith and be mad at the other paladin, when he had been the one keeping secrets from the team.

 

It’s not like it mattered. Like Lance had told Keith and Coran, both, he was fine, and if he wasn’t he wouldn’t let it hurt Voltron.  

The universe needed his team. He would never let a mistake of his endanger the others. Besides if he did get hurt would it matter that much? Allura could fly Blue now and as soon as the found Shiro, Keith would want Red back. Who cared if Lance was out? Voltron would’ve fine.

A scolding presence mind-slapped him. He’d angered Red again. 

“Heh, sorry Red guess I’m probably a downer after having Keith fly you, huh?”

Slap.

Lance groaned and pushed his hand through his hair. He rounded the corner into the kitchen.

”Huuuuuunk.”

”Nope.”

Pidge sat typing away at her computer. She didn’t even look like she had washed off after their battle. Her short hair was pushed back with a thick headband. Lance thought he could see where sweat had made her hair sticky.

”Ugh you’re not supposed to be in here!”

”I’m not allowed in the kitchen?” 

“No! Well yeah...but no! This isn’t your spot! Yours is the lab or like the vents.”

Pidge quirked her brow at him.

”Oh we all know you spy on us you gremlin. Anyway where’s Hunk he’s the one who’s supposed to be in here.”

”Why, you got an appointment?”

”Noooo, but still..."

Lance groaned before plopping down next to her and dropping his chin on the table. 

"You could just go _find_ Hunk, he probably is working on Yellow." 

"Nah, no can do, this chair is my home now. Anyway, Hunk will end up here at some point."

"'Cause it's his spot?"

"'Cause it's his spot."

"Well if you're gonna mope can you do it over there? You kinda smell."

"Uh, uh that's you hermana. When is the last time you showered?" 

Pidge shot him a look, but continued typing.

Lance turned to look at the younger girl. She had been working non-stop trying to find some clue to find her family, to find Shiro, and Lance knew she wasn't taking care of herself. He did what he could to make sure she ate and slept occasionally, but he couldn't do everything, not with four other crew members to watch after.  "Pidge?"

She glanced in his direction. Lance hesitated, knowing that she would not like what he wanted to say, so he settled on, "Can we watch something?"

"We've already watched Parks and Rec fifty times and you don't like any of the other movies I have."

"Okay one, Parks and Rec is a treasure to be enjoyed over and over, two who doesn't have even one Disney movie? Trés all the other stuff is like ghostbusters shit."

"Excuse you, it is not 'ghostbusters shit' they are legitimate investigators studying some of the final true mysteries Earth has to offer, and they study more than just ghosts!"

Lance chuckles, his cheek sticking to the table now, "Oh yeah I forgot there's that one Moth-whatever thing."

"It's Moth _man_ and you know it you uncultured swine."

Lance smiled she was fully facing him now, "Alright then, culture me pipsqueak, Whatever you want we can watch, I just want to watch _something_." 

Pidge considered this for a minute before looking back to her work. She sighed and turned back to the laptop, "Sorry Lance not now."

Lance threw out a last ditch try, "We can watch whatever you want, _and_ I'll make my abuela's peanut butter cinnamon cookies."

That had her attention. She was peeking at him now with a mischievous grin. "Minimum 3 episodes. And space butter to cinnamon ratio better be perfect." 

"Hey no problem! Hunk helped me figure it out weeks ago with the space-nut butter." 

Pidge glanced back at her work with a hint of guilt. Lance grabbed the laptop and pulled it toward him. "Nope we have a deal! I'll go set everything up. You go shower." Lance took off running towards the lounge to connect Pidge's computer to the viewing screen.

He could hear Pidge yelling at him as he ran, "Lance you asshole this whole thing better not have been a ploy to get me to shower! These better be the best damn cookies ever!"

* * *

Keith wandered the halls trying to ignore the silent presence in his mind urging him to check on his team, primarily a certain member.

He avoided the kitchen, knowing Lance liked to go talk to Hunk when he was irritated, and Keith didn't want to walk in on that right now. He didn't want to go to the training room because he knew people would look for him there. So he wandered the halls debating where was safe. Maybe find one of Pidge's hidey holes.

There was an irritated rumble in his mind. The message was clear. _Leaders do not hide._

For not the first time since he had joined Voltron, he wished his thoughts were his own. Black was quieter than Red only voicing his displeasure when he deemed it necessary, although right now the soft rumble of irritation sat like a buzzing fly in the back of his mind. Keith wished he could just swat this annoyance away.

He was going to do his best at this leader thing, he had decided that the minute they had successfully formed Voltron, but he still felt like he was screwing up, that he would continue to screw up. They needed to find Shiro because Keith knew the longer he was Black's pilot the longer the team would be without its real leader, and someone was going to end up hurt.

He was so busy overthinking he didn't pay attention where he was going and stumbled right into a wall.

"Huh?"

Not a wall.

"Oh, hey Keith." Hunk turned around.

"Hunk? Uh sorry." Keith looked at his feet.

Hunk rubbed his neck, and smiled. "No problem! I probably shouldn't have just been standing in the hallway, heh. I'm checking on the lions, and I was thinking about some modifications that might make all the transition a little easier you know, just a couple of little things. You know Lance is used to Blue's stability so I figured some better stabilizers for Red will help him acclimate, and maybe something for Blue..." The Yellow Paladin continued thinking out loud.

Keith liked this about Hunk, unlike Lance, Hunk didn't speak to just fill silence, he spoke to work out problems. He didn't really mind if the other person understood what he was saying he was more thinking out loud than anything, and Keith appreciated that Hunk didn't expect him to respond. He also found it a little scary when Hunk and Pidge did this in the same room and typically ended up getting super excited and racing off looking like they were going to take apart the engines.

"...'s up?"

Keith broke out of his thoughts. "Hmmm?"

"You okay man? You seem, a little...ummm" Hunk seemed unsure whether to continue.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Hunk."

"Aw geez, what did Lance do?"

Keith was caught off guard, and looked up at the taller man. "What?"

"Keith I've known you for a little while now, and well, maybe I shouldn't say this because you're like the leader and all, but we all know you can be a little hotheaded. Sorry! But, you know...anyway you can be, but you aren't that bad usually, I mean recently  I mean you've been irritated, but I guess that's understandable...with with everything. But, Lance, I know he still manages to get under your skin."

"He...he didn't. I mean I think it was my fault this time."

"Oh..." Hunk didn't say more, but it sounded like he had an idea why Lance might have reacted the way he did.

"I gave him Red's bayard, and he was just, it was like he didn't want it."

Hunk looked at him. Keith could tell he was debating about saying something.

"Look, um Lance, you know he goofs off sometimes, but he really does work really hard."

"Well, I mean we all do right?"

"No, I mean he works so hard Keith, probably harder than the rest of us."

Keith scoffed a little. "Lance?"

"I know...but trust me, he likes everyone to think he doesn't care, but he does, a lot."

"Look, Lance's sister was this awesome prodigy in his family, she got a full scholarship to the Garrison, and Lance, well he wanted to follow her. He worked really hard and he ended up getting in, but compared to Veronica his scores were pretty average, and his family had to scrape to pay for him to go, and he always felt bad about that. He was always trying to get better to show them he deserved to be there."

Keith's brow furrowed he had never known much about any of the other paladins' histories. But to hear about this... Hunk continued.

"Anyway when we got to the Garrison Lance wanted to show everyone he could be the best. He was the most excited to meet Shiro, but well Shiro already had a favorite..." The realization struck Keith, Lance had once called Shiro his hero. He had been excited to learn from the older man, but Shiro had been pretty occupied with taking care of Keith.

"That's probably what sparked the whole 'rivalry' thing, at least I think so, but then..."

"Lance wanted to be a fighter pilot really bad, like really bad, but his scores were always just below, well, yours. He swore he'd beat you and worked really hard, even though people kinda teased him and said he wouldn't do it. Lance didn't test well, and he was a bit of a show off."

Keith smirked.

"Well, you got fighter class and he didn't. People teased him for being cocky. I know it hurt, but he kept smiling, and then you left...and they moved him up into your spot. He was excited, but I know he didn't think he had earned the spot. He worked harder and tried to prove it was his, but as far as anyone else was concerned he was just a poor replacement for you. Iverson, especially...he, well I've already said too much...anyway he probably thinks it's happening again."

Hunk looked conflicted. He was thinking back to something unpleasant. He templed his fingers over and over like he did when he was worrying over something.

"Hunk...what did Iverson do?" Keith felt a familiar rage build in him. Hunk looked uncomfortable. He didn't want to think about whatever it was.

"Sorry man, you gotta talk to Lance, he'd probably be upset about what I told you already, just...it was hard, really hard, and I think he might be thinking about that again."

Lance thought he was just a replacement for Keith. Keith knew that feeling, it was exactly how he felt about flying the Black lion. He still felt like there was something more Hunk wasn't telling him. Hunk was a good friend, and Keith knew he would never say anything Lance didn't want other people to know. Keith figured what Hunk had already said wasn't totally secret anyway, Pidge and maybe even Shiro already knew all of this. Keith was the only one who had never known, and Hunk must feel like telling him would help Lance somehow. Keith understood why Lance wanted to protect him, but Hunk cared about Lance a lot and deserved the truth.

"Hey Hunk...there's something else."

* * *

They were now four episodes into one of Pidge's favorite ghost hunting shows. It was actually kinda interesting and Lance had to admit he had a hard time being much of a skeptic when they were literally sitting in an alien space ship. He hadn't been able to keep Pidge away from her laptop for the whole time.

By the second episode she had pulled the laptop into her lap and was typing again. But, she was relaxed and looked up to watch the show and kept up conversation, and she was now on her second plate of cookies. Also it was no small victory that she had showered and changed.

"So does this Zeke guy just have nothing better to do than go to these nasty places or what?"

" _Zak_ and he says it right in the opening he's trying to capture proof of what he saw."

"Yeah, but you said this is like the eighth season or something? Is what they've found not enough or he just doing it for kicks now?"

"They are investigating the paranormal and capturing proof still, why would they stop?"

They sat comfortably for a long time Lance asking questions and making comments until they ran out of episodes. Pidge had a limited library on her computer, but it was comforting to have anything from Earth to watch.

"I still can't believe you don't have a single Disney movie on here." Lance said glancing through the list.

"Well excuse me for not downloading every one of your favorite movies to my laptop in preparation for this space voyage I totally knew we were going on Lance. Movies take up a lot of space, you know? You're lucky I always keep a few seasons of different shows on here, or all we'd have to watch is the weird alien movies Coran has."

Lance pulled up one of his favorite videos she had saved, "Hey let's watch this one, we need some happy things after all the spookiness."

Pidge scoffed, "Are you _scared_?"

"No!" Lance scoffed. "But, that's what you do you know? Watch something happy so you can sleep."

Pidge picked up her computer. "Sorry Lance, I've gotta get back to work, and anyway...sleep comes after death." She teased.

Lance's mood soured at her words. Even with this small "break" where she had been still working the whole time, she felt she had to rush back to her search, at the expense of herself.

"You know...you don't have to...you know you can still take care of yourself right? No one expects you to like kill yourself you know?"

Pidge looked uncomfortable. "I have to find them."

Lance reached for her. "I know, we all want to find them, but Pidge you don't have to do it alone."

She pulled away, and Lance saw something cross her features. She muttered something Lance didn't make out.

"What?"

"Lance, just go find Hunk, I know you had something to whine to him about."

"Hey, no, what did you say?"

Pidge turned away from him, irritated. "I said, it's not like you can help me. It's not like you can do anything to find them! I'm the only-"

Lance hugged her, "No you aren't, we all want to help. Please don't think you are the only one looking. I'm not smart, but tell me how to help and I'll try I will- it's not on you."

Pidge stayed still in his embrace for a moment before pulling away. She looked at him for a moment before turning and leaving him alone.

He watched as the doors slid close. She was right, he had nothing to contribute to finding Shiro or Pidge's family, but he wanted to help. He did.

He wasn't smart, he wasn't particularly good at anything that could help them with this problem; it wasn't like his slight proficiency with a gun would help them at all.

Red was festering in the back of his mind again. He was unhappy with him again. Pretty much a common occurrence since the had connected. He felt like he could understand the lions pretty well, even though they didn't really speak in words. And Red just seemed irritated with him.

He started walking towards his room playing with the zipper on his jacket.

He passed the kitchen and was distracted by a clanking. He peaked in and saw Hunk looking through the dishes Lance had washed after making cookies for Pidge.

"Oh hey Hunk! I told Pidge you'd end up here."

Hunk jumped at Lance's voice. "Ah, Lance!"

Lance stepped in with his hands up. "Sorry dude."

Hunk relaxed slightly and began to look around nervously, Lance knew his best friend well enough to know something was bothering him. Lance sat down at the counter. 

"Buddy what's up?"

Hunk looked at his feet, and then up at Lance. He was visibly worried about something, but he seemed unsure. Hunk always had trouble voicing his feelings when his anxiety got really bad, and Lance could feel that now his friend was struggling with something.

"Hunk, is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"Lance...on Puig..."

Lance's throat closed up. He felt like he wanted to run away, but he couldn't decide from what.

"I know you got hurt."

Lance rushed to comfort his friend. "Hunk, I'm fine. It's okay really. Shit happens, and it doesn't even hurt, Coran gave me some medicine. I'm fine. You didn't get hurt that's what matters man. It's not your fault so don't worry about it."

"Lance stop! That's not the point! Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say anything? You always do this and I don't like it." Hunk said.

"Do what?"

Hunk didn't seem like he knew how to word his thoughts, or like he thought he'd said too much.

"Hunk, what?"

"It's just we care, you know? I care if you get hurt, don't hide it."

He knew Hunk was at least telling the truth about himself. He was always there when Lance needed something and Lance figured he was probably tired of dealing with his problems. Lance felt ashamed. He'd now upset three of his teammates. He should just go find Allura and make it an even four. 

His side was prickling again, but he couldn't decide whether it was from the medicine wearing off or from guilt. He'd hidden it to keep Hunk from feeling bad, and now here it was, his friend hurt because of something Lance had done.

"Can I see?"

Hunk's question brought Lance out of his head for a minute.

"What, no man it's not a big deal! Really, I'm good."

"Look, man...just please don't keep this stuff a secret, not from me, please? Please can I see? Keith said...Keith said it was really bad."

Lance knew it had to have been Keith that told him, but the confirmation made him angry. Angry at Keith for telling and angry at himself for being weak and going to Coran's cabinet in the first place. He grit his teeth and reluctantly lift his t-shirt baring is skin to his friend. 

Hunk hissed when he saw the purple and green mosaic that covered his skin. "Lance..."

"Hunk you don't have to tell me Coran already lectured me, I know, I'm sorry."

Lance dropped his shirt, and looked at the counter next to him. "Hunk I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but it's seriously okay."

"Lance...it's not..."

"I'm fine man, I'm gonna just go catch some z's." Lance practically ran from Hunk and fled to his quarters. Hunk looked extremely sad. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid by not telling anyone. He knew it would upset them, and once again he'd be a burden.

In his room he sat making a list of everything he'd messed up in the last 24 hours, and how he'd upset most of his team in a matter of hours. He was once again surprised they tolerated him.

Red's irritation flared again. _Stop it._

He showed him memories of him on the battlefield. Helping civilians, covering his teammates, and Blue racing through a minefield of Galra fighters. There was one of him up close with someone's arm over his shoulder. He realized he was seeing through Keith's eyes. The feeling connected to the memories was almost grateful.

Lance sighed surprised at the foreign feelings shown to him. It felt weird to see from Keith's eyes, and not see just memories of all of Lance's mistakes. And to feel gratitude instead of the frustration he expected from Keith.

He thought back to their earlier conversation. They´d been getting along until Lance had gotten upset. Keith had been right about telling Hunk, and Lance had yelled at Keith. If Lance wasn´t so quick to speak maybe they´d have ended the conversation on better terms, and Keith wouldn´t be mad. Keith wasn´t so bad, Lance just kept messing things up.

He felt Red mentally slap him again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry again this took so long. I wanted to make the note that when I talk about the lions talking. They are not really speaking in the paladins minds, but conveying feelings and memories to them. It is easier to convey by typing out what the paladins think the lions are saying. So the lions may get frustrated if the paladins misinterpret what they are saying.


End file.
